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Grateful Trainees 
19th-Jul-2006 06:18 pm
Dilbert
Reading Joe Grady's testimony that has been placed prominently on the Chicago UBF website reminded me what UBF "training" does to people. The art of UBF leaders' "training" is not only to manipulate people to do what they want them to do, but at the same time making the trainee believe this training is their expression of "love" and now they are eternally endebted to the "trainer." Quote from the testimony:

As a growing disciple, I was trained in various ways through message delivery, drama performances, testimony sharing and serving CBF. I also received a great deal of training from Little Sarah ... I will always be indebted to her for her labor of love.

That's where they want people to have, that's what UBF leaders would call a success story and what they want to be written in testimonies for others to imitate.

I believe that 1) it is totally wrong of Christians to "train" with personal trainers in the sense of UBF, and 2) that it is totally wrong to make others become "indebted" or somehow loyal to you.

"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."

"Freely you have received, freely give."

Not everyone should be a teacher. And even if you are a teacher, you can only plant and water, not "train". And even if you can plant or water, you cannot be proud of that or expect others to "pay something back" to you (money, time, loyalty and obedience, as demanded in UBF).
Comments 
19th-Jul-2006 08:56 pm (UTC) - Little Sarah
Did Joe mention anything about Little Sarah's adultery that directly destroyed a young marriage in Chicago ubf? Did Joe think that Little Sarah was wrong to push him into marriage with a woman he never met, and then Joe also got divorced?

19th-Jul-2006 10:39 pm (UTC)
An earlier discussion of this "testimony" is at http://community.livejournal.com/rsqubf/70887.html .
19th-Jul-2006 11:09 pm (UTC)
I totally forgot about that discussion already. Anyway, this is so symptomatical that it deserves to be mentioned once more.

Is it true that Joe is also divorced?

I thought about why those who have been treated the worst are sometimes those who believe they are indebted most and received so much "love". Maybe it is because they believe that when they received painful training, it must have been also painful for the shepherd to give such training, so he/she loved the trainee so much? Maybe it also has to do with the Stockholm syndrome?

The Wikipedia says that "Loyalty to a more powerful abuser — in spite of the danger that this loyalty puts the victim in — is common among victims of domestic abuse, battered partners and child abuse (dependent children). In many instances the victims choose to remain loyal to their abuser, and choose not to leave him or her, even when they are offered a safe placement in foster homes or safe houses. This syndrome was described by psychoanalysts of the object relations theory school (see Fairbairn) as the phenomenon of psychological identification with the more powerful abuser."

20th-Jul-2006 12:26 am (UTC) - They Abused Me Because They Loved Me
Maybe it is because they believe that when they received painful training, it must have been also painful for the shepherd to give such training, so he/she loved the trainee so much?

When I went through Humbleness Training for nine months, my "trainers" stated the following:

1. Giving me training was hard for them - a burden for them. They said that they suffered more because they bore with my pride.

2. It would be easier to just leave me alone, but they love me so much that they want to train me to be a Humble Servant of God.

The trainers convince the trainee that they suffer because they have to give training through endless indoctrination. Koreans and native shepherds share numerous testimonies about how they bore so much to give one word to a stubborn cultural-Christian, easy-going sheep. Other UBF leaders would always tell me what a great sacrifice my shepherd makes to raise me as a campus shepherd. Eventually, sheep are convinced that no matter how much they are abused, their shepherd must have done everything out of love for the sheep.
24th-Jul-2006 06:10 am (UTC) - Re: They Abused Me Because They Loved Me
Maybe we can say that Joe Grady has become a really "humble" man of God through UBF training who obeys his coach absolutely? I mean, he has become a spiritual giant through UBF "humbleness" training?
22nd-Jul-2006 04:54 am (UTC) - Loyalty to one's abusers
I thought about why those who have been treated the worst are sometimes those who believe they are indebted most and received so much "love". Maybe it is because they believe that when they received painful training, it must have been also painful for the shepherd to give such training, so he/she loved the trainee so much? Maybe it also has to do with the Stockholm syndrome?


A couple of related links that someone wanted me to post here are as follows:

* excerpts from "Healing Spiritual Abuse"

* http://www.barnabasministry.com/review-healingblue.html

Another relevant link might be the account of a 21-year member of the "Church" of Scientoloy at http://www.apologeticsindex.org/s26.html?FACTNet .
20th-Jul-2006 12:04 am (UTC) - UBF Always Wants Members to Pay Their Debts
I also received a great deal of training from Little Sarah ... I will always be indebted to her for her labor of love.

One former member of UBF (when we were still in UBF) told me that one of the reasons he quit a good job, uprooted his family, and incurred much debt to join the "poineering" work of his shepherd was because he wanted to repay his debt to his shepherd for leading him to Christ. He would make this point in many testimonies and personal conversations.

UBF fosters an environment where the sheep is indebted to the shepherd because the shepherd bore with the sheep and suffered much to give the sheep the gospel. The sheep believes he or she would not be saved without the shepherd's broken shepherd heart. Of course, salvation is greater than anything on earth, thus the sheep can never serve enough, obey enough, or sacrifice enough to repay the debt. The UBF member will do anything for the shepherd to repay the debt. The shepherd will impose as much as possible upon the sheep, constantly reminding the sheep of the debt. For the Abused UBF member, this is a never-ending cycle of working hard to repay the debt, falling short (being trained and rebuked), and then working hard again, with each cycle causing greater abuse against the sheep. Only because of Jesus were we set free from this cycle of abuse.
21st-Jul-2006 01:10 am (UTC)
Amen! Only Jesus sets us free from ubf abuse.
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