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Silent Sufferers 
11th-Jan-2006 03:00 pm
Hi everyone, I have not ever posted on one of these sites before, but I have read everything I could find about UBF on the internet. I've read postings from several current UBF supporters say that there is only a very small group of people who oppose UBF, and they are just very vocal. This is not true. Viewers, please understand that there are MANY people hurting, who oppose UBF, but who cannot make a big commotion for the sake of our loved ones who are still trapped in the system. That doesn't mean that we don't keep up on the organization or want its ministry stopped. One of the saddest things about UBF is, if someone is in the church and their family objects, they are encouraged to reject their family and remain loyal to UBF. So many people choose to suffer alone in UBF itself or to hold out for loved ones still in the church. Maybe someday I will have the freedom to post my own testimony on these websites.
13th-Jan-2006 01:21 am (UTC) - How true it is?
I appreciated your response to FreeinChrist.

This part stood out for me:

- many do not know that UBF has large scale problems, they believe their own experience is singular (particularly before the times of the WWW)

I left UBF 14 years ago and the only person who really understood what I was talking about was my sister. I recruited her into the group in 1983 and she left a couple of years after I did (I left for good in 1992).

In August 04, she told me about the RSQUBF and EscapeUBF websites and I began exploring them. The first thing I realized was the unfortunate reality that my experiences weren't unique. That was a blessing!
13th-Jan-2006 01:43 am (UTC) - Re: How true it is?
Before the Internet was widespread, there was hardly any possibility to get in touch with other dropouts or compare their experience, and nobody would understand you. Once you were out, you were also out of touch. Nobody could reach you any more, and you could not find other dropouts. Sometimes people left in groups which made it somewhat easier, but usually people left one by one. Networking was virtually impossible. This changed drastically and was one of the factors that helped me to get out. The Internet also gave the reform movement of 2000 a big impetus, just like the invention of the printing press was one of the decisive factors that made Luther's reformation spread so mightily.

What makes the networking of ex UBF members still very difficult is that we all are in different phases of our exit process. Some are long over it and tired of speaking about it, some are only in the beginning and still fearful to speak, some are just opening their eyes and want to talk a lot. It's always the best if you don't leave alone, but together with another family or spouse. Leaving on your own is very hard. Unfortunately, many had to go through this process. I believe this must be accompanied by a feeling of being the loneliest person in the world - you had just left UBF - your "true parents" and "true family", the group that had been everything in your life - but you had also cut all bonds to your family, friends and the world "out there" when you had been in UBF. That's why so many are reluctant to leave UBF. So if we want to get people out we need to show them that outside they still have friends and people who understand them.
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